Blond on Blond

Well, this site is dedicated to the thing that I see and hear and interpret around me accordingly . I feel that it is only fair to give a description of myself and the innate workings of my peculiar life. I am a 5ft 9and ¾ female with weight in proportion to height, I am fair skinned, that is peppered with freckles. I have light blue eyes that change to green depending upon my mood. By the way green is get out of my way because I am upset and could do something scary, I also do not rely on the amount of gamma radiation for my strength or how much damage I could do if really pushed. My natural hair colour used to be blond, but because of the cloud cover of the country that I reside in is, well a mousy brownish in colour. I have extensive trips to an over priced hairdressers in chave’s vile, which allows me to blend into the rest of the population relatively unnoticed. Yes, I am blond, but I am a two toned blond!
I have a strange sense of humour which I only understand, I have also the inept ability to attract the missing link of man. However I feel that I am probably not the only one, so if there are any others that are experiencing the same problems, please get in contact so we can set up a support group. As like most people out there I have my off days, which I call my blond moments. These moments that are not unique to me. These are days when we all feel that we cannot move forward and we some how make what we feel the bizarre blunders in our life, for no godly reason, we are the victim of our own stupidity and our self serving vanity or just plain doziness.

Minerva

Well as you can see from my name that I have chosen is the Roman goddess of love, probably the furthest from the truth, if you went the furthest form the truth, then went a little more further, you might be near the furthest from the truth as I am at. However Minerva is a cool name and if I had her goddess abilities to attract fineness specimens of man I would be very happy, but unfortunately like the rest of the population I was blessed with some attributes and cursed with others, mainly the extraordinary ability to attract complete imbeciles that only function with the help of their loins. I firmly believe that their productive organs are responsible for not only their ability to chose or procreate but for the whole of their cardiovascular and pulmonary systems that enable them to live. In most people the brainstem area is usually responsible for you breathing and for the oxygenated blood being adequately distributed around the body. However you try and understand their ability to breath or even communicate in their primitive ways, you will draw a blank in your conclusions and perhaps this is the way it is meant to be. Who knows? But is does make for some funny stories and some of which I will tell you.

Just recently I went on a skiing holiday with a group of army boys, which believe in going to Iraq is a good idea, because they can put into practise from what they have learnt. Do you know, I always thought there was a good reason why America and UK went to war! Anyway this is a fact, strange I know, but it is what they believe or what they are made to believe, who knows and as long as it is not my ass that is not being shot at who cares. Anyway these guys are priceless, they are absolute gems! I plucked up the courage to sit with these guys, mainly because they were the only ones in the bar at the time and I did not want to look like a complete Norma. So I asked politely if they if I could join them. They said no, so I sat down. Anyway I joined in the conversation, they were talking about skiing and I was contributing by taking about my day snowboarding. At the time I was explaining why I was not progressing as I would like because I was tired, this was due to the fact of the level of noise inside and outside of the room. They promptly asked what noise? I tried to explain in a nice way that my room mate was, well snoring quiet loudly. This was later on the biggest mistake of which I could of made. Anyway one plucky guy, spoke up, all you need is a good hard shag! Which was a huge disappointment, because up until that point I thought he had a indefinable moody sex appeal thing going on, despite the fact he looked like Freddy Mercury (lip rat included). It was at this point the killed all the sexy little fantasies that I was having about him, which promptly faded away. So I took the line of not being offended and ripped him to shreds verbally, as unbeknown to him I work with 11-25 year olds and part of the work that I carry out is sexual health, he he he! So I then point out why are men obsessed with their little winkies, I mean it is like they are obsessed from the day they are born. For the first few months of their lives they are trying to rip it of, then from then on they are constantly playing with it and checking it is still there, as if it is going any where! Well after my rant and being laughed at by several people he left. It left me feeling righteousness and victorious, I also hoped that this would have taught him a valuable lesson, oh no! this was not to be the case. On the way back to the airport he sat next to me, which as gluten for punishment I was please that he did. I was complaining of the lack of room that we had, as it was causing major discomfort for my knees as I had managed to sprained both of my knees, which were badly bruised and swollen by the way. He took this as a cheap shot at him and he was a bit snappy. So to defuse the situation, by saying, the people who design these coaches do not think about any one over 5 ft 7inch tall and if I was double jointed I would wrap my legs around my neck and well you guessed it! He said well if I would have known earlier things could have been different…..? Do guys really think that this is the preferred and successful way of talking to the opposite sex? Anyway the Neandertal is back in Iraq and I managed to get his e-mail and have been writing to him these past three months. He said he will phone me when he gets back home, who knows, he’s a bit of a gormless prick, but I actually like him for some unexplained reason. Anyway for all my friends warnings to stay away, I am drawn to the fire and undoubtedly will get burnt. This I will put down to a prolonged side effect of my blondness or just plain stupidity.